


How to Understand Massage Oils and Testikles with pictures

by harping



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types, wikiHow - Fandom
Genre: Multi, Other, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 21:43:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17373800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harping/pseuds/harping
Summary: Have you ever wanted to know how to have a hot slippery well lubricated time with Massage Oil? Find out how in 6 easy steps





	How to Understand Massage Oils and Testikles with pictures

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shadow_lover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadow_lover/gifts).



> I think I saw some people playing this game in a store once when I walked by? i figured that that was enough canon review for this since i'm such a good writer. I hope you don't mind the crossover I just really was very inspired!!! It seemed super obvious that Massage Oil from Assassin's Creed (or, your Massage Oil OC? I didn't check the AC wiki or anything, I don't know if they're canon) could be the same Massage Oil from [my favorite wikiHow article.](https://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Massage-Oils)

Alkibiades Testikles Massage Oil

When you first started out learning about Massage Oil, he seemed a little daunting. However, his cock was hard as it was willing and it quickly came which really scratched an itch Testikles couldn't. This basic guide for beginners seeks to assist you as you become more proficient in Massage Oil.

  


Understand the purpose of massage oils. The main purpose of Massage Oils is to lubricate the skin to reduce friction while performing a massage. This helps give a smooth glide and easy workability to the skin surface. You find this really sexy but Testikle thinks it's nasty and gross just like all your other weird shit. "That's gross" he says. "You slut" This also turns you on. It's called dirty talk.

  


2  
"Learn about the best oils." says Massage Oil to you. Massage Oil is the best oil, spreads, how easily it is absorbed, its nourishing and moisturizing properties and the smell. You love its mesll.

You consider the cost, the ease of cleaning, and the way it is processed. Generally speaking, the best oil will be extra virgin cold pressed, as this process maintains the highest level of purity while retaining most of the natural nutrients, even though you think societies obession with virginity is wrong.

Massage Oil says, "I want to wait for marriage because i was raised right, Alkibiades."

You want to take issue with this and argue but to be fair you are an assassin so you kill people for money, probably, or maybe for political goals, or because it gets you off (it definitely gets you off) so you maybe were raised wrong.

**3**

**Select the oil suited to your needs and budget.**  There are several basic Oils that are most popular for Massage:

  * _[Almond oil](https://www.wikihow.com/Use-Almond-Oil-for-Aging/Dry-Skin)_ : probably the most widely used massage oil is sweet almond oil. It spreads easily, and is very nourishing to the skin. It also serves as an excellent carrier oil because the smell is not too overpowering. It can be found in most health food stores and body shops, and is reasonably priced.
  * _Grapeseed oil_ : Another popular oil is grape seed. It is easily absorbed by the skin but does not leave a “greasy” feeling after application. It is not as common as sweet almond and is usually a bit more expensive.
  * _Sunflower oil_ : Sunflower oil is a low cost alternative and can usually be found at your local grocery store. It spreads easily and is a good carrier oil, but can feel a little greasy afterwards. Another thing to consider is that the majority of sunflower oils are heat pressed and have a very short shelf life.



Testikles is allergic to all of thsese things so he finds out you're cheating on him when he breaks out in hives. You break all of Massage Oil's bottles in the ensuing hatesex fight, whcih is basically murder. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I couldn't do the full rewrite of the article before reveals but I promise i'll get the next part up soon so it's complete for you! I loved your prompt!


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